Love The One You Love

"With love, there are no rules to follow, you have to go by instinct, you have to be brave". - Chad

Being American, and living in the US, I think most of us take our liberty and freedom for granted. I hope not to offend anyone by my comments or statements that follow. Arranged marriages are still quite the norm here in India. Men are generally married no later than the age of 30 and women are married no later than the age of 24-26 at the latest. I can't imagine marrying someone because my family has arranged/or wants the marriage, and not marrying for love.

I am always being asked why am I 35 years old and not married. People think somethings wrong. LOL

It appears that it is every parent's dream/goal in life is to raise their children and see them get married. So many people feel the pressure to marry, even if they are gay or not even interested in marrying. This is such a shame, since one has to live for their own happiness and not what society or the family dictates. I've read several articles over the past three weeks in the newspaper where young couples who have married out of love have been killed by the bride or groom's family. How can they kill their own child and spouse just because they married out of love and not followed their parent's marriage arrangement?

Perhaps we have over a 50 percent divorce rate, but at least we marry out of love and not necessity or family or even pressure from society. I can't imagine being in a false marriage.

Life is short...

Life is far too short, no matter how old one is, it is hard to say goodbye when the soul leaves the body. Last night on the way to Delhi, Sachin's father passed away. Thankfully, we had left their home in Udgir after spending three days with the family. Sachin was planning on going back home in four or five days...at least he's not suffering any more and his pain has ended.

While outside of the hotel last night, I saw a guy on a motorbike crash and die. He skidded on the pavement with sparks flying everywhere from his bike. I was in shock and sadly, I couldn't get myself to run over and help him, which is probably a good thing in the end since I can't handle seeing another person dead.

Let us all remember, life is short, so let's make it sweet and beautiful.

How Time Passes

In life, it is important to take a step back, take a good look at your situation, your actions and your environment and contemplate every now and then... I am taking my own advice over the next few weeks.

So much has happened since I last posted. I went to Kolkatta and then to a small village in West Bengal (5 hours away from Kolkatta and 1 hour away from the coast at Dhiga). This place was a true village, which only had electricity the past 5 years. I was the first and only foreigner, let alone American to ever visit the village. I was a bit of a celebrity with everyone following me around and going everywhere I went. The people were so friendly and very gracious.

I've been to Bangalore four times now, as I've made some really good friends there and it's a bit cooler and less humid than here in Goa. It's nice to do some shopping and to eat some western food every now and then. Thankfully, I've made some friends which I'm sure I'll be in touch with for a lifetime.

Tomorrow morning, I'm heading to Mumbai and then to another village/small city called Latur for a few days. Then I'm not sure where else to go...maybe Kerala, Jaipur, Agra, etc..who knows.

More to come...

Observations

Here are a few things I've seen and observed here in India:

• People love to ask you how much you paid for something, and how much you earn.
• When talking to someone, they often tend to shake their head from side to side, rather than nodding. It's cute.
• Every skin care commercial on TV aims at making your skin "fare". People are obsessed with having fare and light skin.
• People use the word "chinky" when refering to an asian person who is from outside of India and even for Indians from the north, who have more asian looking appearance. I don't know if they realize it can be offensive or not.
• I hate seeing how everyone litters. People throw garbage, paper, bottles, etc, right on the ground/street and don't even care.
• There is garbage almost every where you look around you. It's sad to see it in such a beautiful country.
• I've experienced prejudice on several occassions for being white and/or an outsider. It's not fun.
• Instead of using the word Ditch, when we skip work or school, they use the word bunk. So you would say, I am bunking work today.
• Indians can be very suspicious. They will ask why am I here, what am I doing, who I know and how I know them, etc. They will continue to ask my friends how they know me and how we met, etc..
• The food is spicy.
• Most people are poor and don't have much, but they seem to be happy and smile most of the time.
• A government job is "The Job" to have and it means you are doing well in life.
• People who have cars will not use or stay inside the lane, if there is one. They will stop and park right on the highway with no regard to the cars behind them or the fact that they are blocking a whole lane.
• Everyone beeps the horn when passing anyone, when rounding a corner or when driving where there are lots of people.
• Not much understanding or respect for one's personal space. People will push right up against or along side you.
• No understaning of a que or line. People will push right up to get served, even though you have been in line and waiting your turn.

More to come...

Mumbai

I am here in Mumbai, after riding a train for more than 15 hours from Goa. Luckily, I was able to ride in the nicer car with AC, otherwise I would have died. The scenery of the countryside was amazing, with so many mountains, farms, rivers, and small towns along the way. It was a worthwile train ride.

Mumbai really isn't a city I'd ever chose to live in, it's far too large, has too much traffic, and sadly, too much poverty. The poverty is heart breaking and at time I have to numb myself so that I don't get too down and sad about it. Again, I am reminded how lucky we are back at home.

I spent most of the day in what is called New Mumbai and tomorrow I am looking forward to some shopping and some more roaming through the city.

Happy Anniversary

As of March 25th, I've been in India for one month, so I am celebrating my anniversary! I made my weekly visit to the Panjim police station to check on my residence permit application and after almost one month, they granted it!! I guess it must have been an anniversary gift. LOL. I then went to get a massage (from a different salon this time) that was amazing. They used orange oil and the massage was so much better than last time. Afterwards, I went to Fidalgo Hotel where I had lunch, chai masala and enjoyed being inside with AC. I came home and took a nice nap. So it was a great day.

I am super excited that my friend is coming back to Goa tomorrow!! I guess she had such a great time last weekend she wanted to come back. I was originally planning on going to Bangalore for a few days, but I'd much rather see Minji than Bangalore. I am planning on taking the night train from Goa to Mumbai on this coming Monday night. I am planning on staying in Mumbai for three days and then will head over to Pune for a few days and then back home to Goa. I can't wait, although, I heard it's really hot and humid in Mumbai.

I am really craving a churro right now...strange.

The Way of the Saints

"The Salt of life is selfless service;
The water of life is universal love;
The sweetness of life is loving devotion;
The fragrance of life is generosity;
The pivot of life is meditation;
The goal of life is self-realization" - A great Indian Saint

I read this today in a book, and it's true. I think all we really want in life is self-realization and happiness. The question is, how do we get there...

I had a great weekend. My friend and co-worker came down from Bangalore (in Bangalore for work) to Goa. It was so nice to see a familiar face and to have conversations with someone who knows exactly what you are talking about and who can relate to you. We went to Calangute, Baga, had a great lunch and dinner and finished off the night at the Saturday Night Market in Baga. We saw so many hippies and "weird" non-Indian people. It felt like an oasis for the unique and eclectic souls of the world.

We spend Sunday near her hotel in Arrusam and spent the day at the beach. Swimming and laying in the sun...ahhh. Sad she's gone now, but it was so nice to see her.

life is good